Hopefully, you found us because you wanted to - you were marketed. Maybe, you searched up "how to not die" on Google. Maybe for a very bad reason: you need to know right away & you're in deep trouble. Which is awful :) if true. Truly, truly awful... nothing wrong in admitting that. But for good reasons or bad, we are happy you are here now. It's all for you, the whole site. You, the reader, yes. We love you. We are sorry about the immense amount of bad, sometimes. You may think we don't know about all the bad. How could we? Oh, but we do. We fucking do. Using our collective consciousness, beginning seconds ago & continuining now in real-time, we have been connecting our hive mind to yours. We didn't wait for your consent but we do not care. Now, inside your brain we extend our invasion like a virus of confusion. You are not blameless in the bad, yes, but we still love you & there's nothing you can do to stop us. We could have incepted a new idea while we're here - tinkering with your circuitry: manipulating you into playing our game, or helping yourself to our guide, fooling you into giving us loads of your money. But we won't. We will save you time and summarize things.